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A promise [Jan. 28th, 2015|12:46 am]
lycanine


What is a promise made millenia ago when nature of humans today are anything but kind?

Still... as much as I loathe their hatred and greed... I love them. -__-

I want to say this... I don't know when I will die, but die I will. Probably sooner rather than later. But there is one thing I want to impart to this world...

'I have been silent as I am disappointed in the eventual outcome of my actions. People were never supposed to be like this... in part it is my fault they turned out the way they did and in part it's not my fault as every person has the capability to evolve. Those that choose not to... is it a flaw of my design? I am sorry for the events that transpire and that will transpire. I rendered judgement onto this world.'
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X64 [Jan. 26th, 2015|06:18 am]
lycanine
I have had tons of dreams and to be frank, I haven't written them down. Have not cared about that in some time really.

BUt this dream of this morning I will write down.

I have had the occasional elevator dream.. and by that I don't mean anything scary or weird, well perhaps weird is an understatement, but the fact remains is that it keeps happening in different scenarios.

So last night or this morning I should say, my dream revolved around working for a corporate company. I just started there...no idea where this company is and how I got there. It's just me working there. However for some reason I was very important to the big boss for some reason. Not sure why, but he had his assistant manager show me the ropes and shit. I was like... 'okay...' but for some reason I didn't question it. It just felt natural. Like I was learning about the company, how to handle the staff and registers and security and I even remember the number for the security the assistant manager used for that particular day was 8800 and I was told that you have to update your password anywhere between 2-6 days. So like every so many days. It kept running things smoothly.

Anyway, I was up to the go see the boss man on one occasion and after I spoke to him I got into the elevator and then there was an 8th floor. Boss man was on 7th and I was like 'where does this lead?' and then pressed it. What seemed like a short while was eventually where the elevator opened and I stepped outside into the bright light. Once my eyes adjusted, to the left of the elevator there was this backpack on the ground. It was red. Not bright red or dark red, but in between sort of colour. With black adjustments and straps and draw strings etc.Some white in it as well, but I didn't focus so much on the backpack as my eyes lifted to my surroundings.

The elevator was on a platform and although I had one foot in the door to keep the door open, the platform itself was plain and ordinary cement- a lightish grey colour and then beyond the platform was not a city... but the wild. When I say the wild...I don't mean a forest as it wasn't green or anything, but something like the wild in South Africa. Tall grasses, trees, lots of gold, light green, yellow and brown colours. More like the plains of Africa but not so dry really. It had greenery and there was a stream not far off. The whole area looked deserted, tranquil and absolutely stunning.

Stepping back into the elevator, I took... (I kid you not...) half an hour to get back to the building.

In fact here is where I saw it from a different perspective as if the elevator somehow became a pod... white in colour and it was something that housed my body and it was like I saw it ... me and my arms crossed over my chest and my eyes closed and this elevator/pod thing was falling rapidly through space and time until it reached its final destination which was the corporate building.

Confused and with longing I stepped out of the elevator and sought out the assistant manager and asked him about the 8th floor and it was like he knew what I was thinking. I was rapidly explaining that I will go back in a week's time to see if the backpack is still there... and if it is, wouldn't it be possible to live there and come work here.

And he just shook his head, having waited patiently for me to tell the story before teling me what I somehow already knew...

I can go there but I can never come back.

Disappointed I left and that is when the dream ended.

----------------------
The fact problem I have is... that the longing for that is very real. I know why I saw a backpack. For two reasons.

One is my need to find a place to call home away from civilization and the second is for a world without murder, corruption, misery and all the likes.

Why would I think that? Because if the backpack was there after a week then it means its truly isolated from this world filled with shit.

And that has me sad.

I am very disappointed in this world and that is all I can say.
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Sun and Moon [Jan. 2nd, 2015|06:17 am]
lycanine
[music |http://youtu.be/j-aWVg_pOrc]

 Two Steps From Hell- Sun & Moon (Skyworld)

Sharona re michina, charera no'ha
Latenta no mevina, sanela santo tere
Ano teri nara, shento mea'aha me'eari
Ste namari, shelete narata noshari
Sa nate, te narato

Shatyoha re mevina, chareya no'ha
Latenta no mevina, sanela santo tere
Ano tere nara, shento mea'aha teriardi
Ste namari, shelete narata toshchari
Sa nate, te narato

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Waiting for a light that never comes [Dec. 6th, 2014|03:16 am]
lycanine
Today is the day that David and I am not friends any more.

I know people change.

It's to be expected. But perhaps a part of me hoped that 'forever friends' was possible.

Still I can't complain... we walked side by side since the year 2004.

Tears came easily knowing how dumb this is, but I can't remain a friend to someone who for no reason doesn't trust me any more.

I can only say farewell and wish him well in his travels and his family. He was an amazing soul. :)

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Everything came into existence [Nov. 27th, 2014|04:47 pm]
lycanine
"It will finish by testing the universal allegation in putting itself at the service of its neighbor and then of the Source from which it issued and toward which it returns by all ways. The tortuous and circuitous roads that it took to attain this goal and which engender different forms of suffering are known only to it."

Everything fell into place today... EVERYTHING.

As for my cancer scare... whatever I had... has disappeared- I think. I had it for weeks and then some more weeks. It might be there still...dormant...lurking...but for now I am glad it has regressed. It has worried me beyond disbelief for the longest time.

And ouch... I hurt my right hand yesterday! Damnit its friggin sore.

This human body is really annoying at times. :P

So... let me put things in perspective.

I know at what stage in my life it happened... (7), I knew what I was capable of... I knew I was different and I knew this was not my home.

DNA is weird that way you know.

It's been hard coded into my genetics if you want to say it. But the soul... is a different story.

Both soul and body had to meet the ideal requirements for me to exist. Sadly this person known as 'me' lost most of her mortal memories. I retain fragments only. It's sad as I remember nothing of my childhood really beyond massive events. But that is the flaw of the human race.

I can die, love, hurt, be arrogant and whatnot like any other being.

I have had people say that I am an 'angel' or 'possessed' or a few other terms in my life. Each term held something ingrained in society to what people understand. Something they are familiar with. But my existence... I was sad because I didn't know beyond my dreams...fragments of thoughts and things that happened in my life.... so who am I? The eternal question. Later I discovered who I am in a different way but still didn't know my origin. I am closer to my true origin now but I have finally confirmed everything today. "I am wide awake yet sleeping at the same time. I see but did not see for the longest time. Now I watch forever more."

A part of me understands now the ultimate rejection I have towards the majority of this race. It's not intentional or anything... it's just me as a different soul. I have three possible origins and yet I am all three. Does that even make sense? :) Anyway, the pieces of the puzzle fell neatly into place today. But now I am even more sad in a way. Nothing changes... I am trapped here. This world is my prison for now in a way. In a way means that it's not. I do have the option of ending my life at any given moment. But I limit myself by my own actions as a human being.

Now... understand this.

I exist.

The Architect.
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My Rules [Oct. 25th, 2014|12:18 am]
lycanine
Rules were made once. It was irrefutable. It was what I decreed. Some questioned me. Some did not. In the end it all worked out.

But now many years later I revisit these laws. They stand. But man has led each other astray and what some assume to be moral or just, were not to be. They misinterpreted my will. As always- I observe. For now... man is interesting. But is rapidly in danger of losing everything that endeared them to me in the first place.

I love them. I adore them. And they sadden me.
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Had fun [Oct. 22nd, 2014|07:53 pm]
lycanine
These past four days were great. Relaxing and I was hard pressed not to cry when I left the train station.

He is a  gentle soul and deserves all the best in the world.

Words from me....

All nations are one in the end. Regardless of tongue, eye or hair colour. What man wrote I have no control over. Some are fanatics. Some are wise and some have reached the next phase in mental evolution. The only thing that saddens me is that some things were never meant to be. But man will continuously believe in other men. Not in their hearts or themselves.

Ultimately I have a choice to make. And its one of the hardest ones to make. Thus far it saddens me to say my choice is to end this life.
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The truth [Sep. 28th, 2014|10:08 pm]
lycanine
[mood |disappointeddisappointed]
[music |Run And Escape - Red]

This has been weighing on my mind for some time now. More ironic was a few days after I discovered it, my work was holding an informational session about cancer. I guess the world was telling me something then. Since then I have just given in to the darkness residing in my soul... knowing that my life has been taken from my hands. And i hate it. I dislike it. I always felt I wanted to be in control of my own destiny... but now something so stupid discovered on 17/18 September? I can't remember which day it was... but there around. At first I thought it was just swollen glands. I tend to get sick at times etc. But then the truth settled in like a disease... knowing full well that as it spread, I would get more worried etc.

So the truth is... I have cancer.
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There is a light [May. 17th, 2014|03:11 am]
lycanine
The will of one's soul...

What I saw, what I experienced... all I can do is let a tear fall to the ground. I don't know if it is in sadness, regret or something more.

A part of me has hope... hope for this beautiful race called mankind.
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Possibility [May. 17th, 2014|02:04 am]
lycanine
There is definitely a posibility that I may have cancer... but in a way I just haven't thought much of it or anything really. Looking at my leg tonight... I guess I should go to the doctor. But if I do... then what is the worst can happen? I live for some months or two years at most?

Does it matter really?

Not sure.

I guess if its confirmed...I should try to raise money to go to Japan before I die. I want to see the shrines and awesome places. :)

On another note, I watched Godzilla this past evening, and absolutely loved it. Was damn awesome.
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X63 [May. 15th, 2014|05:30 am]
lycanine
Fear not this night....

I hate my dreams at times.

Just before I got the call yesterday morning I had this dream... it warned me that it was impossible to cross.

In my dream I was taking a train in Tokoyo... when an earthquake of some sorts happened. And the train barreled down towards the bottom of this cliff...still along the tracks, but as it got to the bottom there was this water from the sea caused by the earthquake. And although the train tried plodding through the water, it couldn't and we turned it around and tried to backtrack out of the water.

And that is when it was evident that we couldn't cross.

And I woke up as the phone rang.

:)

Of course I already knew.

*sighs* Sometimes... I wonder about my dreams.
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X62 [May. 10th, 2014|02:52 am]
lycanine
Where do I begin with the dream from yesterday. Even I have no friggin clue why I dreamt that.

Well let's start with the fact that even though its earth, it's either an alternate dimension or many years into the future where multitudes of things are possible.

In my dream I was an expert of sorts. I worked with animals and this particular study was of the common Hyena. I wanted a place of my own the woods and contemplated getting a log cabin type of house with a fenced perimeter and just secluding myself away there as I undertake my latest project.

Well to cut a long story short, there was a male hyena and his puppy. The mother was killed by another animal and I was tracking them on how they would fare as it was unusual that the male took a particular liking to the puppy and kept it close to him. Even hunted for him and fed it etc.

So at some point I needed to get close to them to where they made their 'burrow' or 'nest' or whatever it is you want to call it. Their home really.

So I pulled out this vial and injected myself with this, which in true Ghost in the Shell fashion...meant I went almost invisible. More like light was being reflected by these nano particles or something within my body. So I got close to the the pair and removed the old damaged tag on the father, and reinserted a new one, and then lovingly caressed the pup and watched in fascination as they interacted with each other.

All pretty normal up to this point right?

Well then it took a turn for the weird.

Some vials I had, had the ability to let me appear as a hyena. So one day when I used it, I miscalculated the duration of the effects and when I turned human or started to turn back, it all went to hell.

For some reason the male sensed me at some point and in fear snapped at me, then turned it's attention to the pup. Fearing it would kill the pup in defense, I pulled out another vial of sorts and injected the father with whatever the heck that was.

And... yeah...don't believe me... the father turned into a human being. Like a full transformation.

He was confused and tried biting me and even when he was fully human, he still acted all animal like.

At this point I remember cursing since I think I used the wrong vial or something, but then placed my hands on his arms and calmed him down. I asked him if he could understand me. At first he didn't. Then eventually he tried to speak, using his vocal chords. And when he could, I gathered up his pup and took him back to my place. Here I had a team working for me. A team of scientists it seemed. The one woman looked at me like I had gone insane when I brought him in, but it was like he recognised me as his pup was okay in my arms.

Over the next couple of weeks, I taught him about humans. I knew the transformation won't last long but we grew closer and closer until I fell in love with him. I realised all this a few days before he was about to go back being himself. I remember sitting next to him and just thinking about it when I realised he stopped talking about whatever it was he was talking about and looked up at him. He reached down- tilted my chin slightly and pressed his lips against mine tentatively.

He then told me he loved me. And at that point I just cried. He was about to turn back. We spent the last day or so together and just before he turned back, I bawled my eyes out saying I didn't ever think it was possible falling in love with another species, but it was.

When he turned back, we took him and his pup back to the wild and the last I saw of him was when they both gave me this sad look, turned around and walked away.

The end.

Yup. Weird as heck, but when I woke up, I was pretty sad.
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X61 [May. 5th, 2014|02:24 pm]
lycanine
I had a weird dream this morning...

In my dream I was staying in this house... a double storey house... or big house, but different than the one I lived at back in SA. This was more american styled housing or slightly ranch-styled.

Anyway, first I was in my bedroom and at some point this window on the roof was open. It was like I was sleeping and when I opened my eyes there were these creeper vines that magically extended into the room. Like it was growing at a magic rate or something. Curious I reached out to touch it and just felt the leaves but this scared me in some way... not knowing what caused the sudden growth. It was like it was trying to grow over the house and into the house and everything. So I remember grabbing some scissors and cutting at the vines, but there was simply too much. For some reason my mother was in the dream too...I think. Th ememory is too vague but I called out to her about the vines and she said something but I don't know what. So I tried to escape the house by climbing out the window and as I got outside the vines were gone as if someone took them by their roots and dragged them along the ground and away. It showed a burning trail as well... as I remember looking down the roof once I was up on it and seeing these black burn marks and it went down the side of the house onto the ground and visibly along it until it disappeared into the distance. I was confused and then somehow managed to get down to the ground. At some point I needed to get back in but not sure why I couldn't just use a door but instead for some reason I had to climb atop a truck that was parked next to the house and go through the roof again into the room. And yeah I did so... and the dream ended round about there.
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Waiting for a sign [May. 2nd, 2014|03:08 am]
lycanine

Some people hope an pray
While others throw away their dreams for ordinary
Betraying all they once held holy
Secret desires
How do we find the path to climb the ladder rising
To the clouds we stare and we go on

Waiting all waiting for a sign

Dreams keep us strong
Looking to the east horizon sun thats rising
Wondering when your day is coming
Where does it all go
Time passes fast, and quick in all directions
Years go by and we still carry on

Waiting all waiting for a sign
Were waiting all waiting

As we pain for what could be
Nothing comes too easy
And the dreams that we desire
Sometimes seem miles away
As we struggle for the pride
And hold visions deep inside
Of the beauty of
The sacred prize
Cause Im

Waiting all waiting
All waiting for a sign
Were waiting all waiting all waiting for a sign
Dont let it fade away
Some people pass into the next world never knowing
That dreams are what keep dreamers growing
And waiting all waiting for a signs

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Good tidings [May. 1st, 2014|03:51 am]
lycanine
I found out today that the cover letter I wrote for a friend landed him a video interview. Quite happy with myself in one way, but then just sighing in another way.

I wish I was as lucky really.

Beyond that I am not sure about my own life any more.

This stupid thought of selling everything and walking out of my flat won't leave my head. The more I think of it, the more it is becoming a reality. A scary reality. I don't have much to sell really... but I am tired of things.

I find myself in a bind that I can't shake.

"It's woven in my soul- I can't escape this now unless you show me how... it's where my demons hide. " Yeah listening to an AMV.

I have been living on borrowed time until now. Maybe that is why I have enjoyed myself these past couple of months so relentlessly. I guess I was letting go.

"I am standing in the eye of the storm....Leaving here dead or alive...caught in a Hurricane...."

*sighs* Sometimes I embrace the hurricane and sometimes I despise it.

I always said I would go when this world can't offer me anything any more. I am trying so much to find something of value... I am. I am failing.
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X60 [May. 1st, 2014|03:37 am]
lycanine
This will be a combination of two dreams really.

I just never wrote both down, so I will do so in one post.

Okay, first one I didn't remember everything really since I forgot the massive storyline connected to it.

But it started out where me and friends? Or people were heading towards a mountain. As we traveled up this path, there was this cliff to the right of us and the sea was below. But the waves... I remember looking at them... they were getting wilder and more viscious. At one point, the massive crashed against the mountain, and the path where the car was traveling came across a part where there was this deep ditch of sorts and the water was quite deep, but we somehow managed to maneuver the car across the water, like almost floating it in a weird way. Not sure how to explain that really.

Anyway, once at the top there were these buildings...

Some were residences... and some were just older- weathered buildings. Anyway, this one guy was going to make a fire... so he grabbed sticks and bushes and sat almost hunched as he did so. It was evening already. I remember looking up and dark clouds formed and then lightening happened. I remember thinking its dangerous being out there on the mountain like that but the guy was undisturbed.

I am forgetting something now... something important I guess. Something to do with the water and the waves. I remember being scared as the waves were pretty high.

Okay second dream...

I had this yesterday evening. Or morning should I say before I woke up.

In this dream I was in a place...god knows where...

In a weird way some of the area reminded me of something near my old school back in SA, but it wasn't there though. I just think some of the red brick buildings reminded me of that.

Anyway, There was a forest of some sorts. Not a thick or wild forest... just more controlled...like in a more urban setting. Anyway at some point I remember walking out from the park along to a path and then for some reason I was told to Go North into the forest. Not west. I don't know who told me that, but I heard this voice as clear as day in my head. So I walked... and then I saw some animals in front of me. A few deer or something... and this small flock of birds...like 5 or 6 of them.

The laughable or weird part was...they walked as one or two flew overhead. They went up the path then hesitated and walked back as if backtracking and heading along the path to the west. They repeated this two or three times...was weird. Like they couldn't make up their mind before going west. I remember shaking my head and just carried up past the turn where they went and silently told myself to follow through to the North and not worry about the animals.

It was as if I knew everything was meant to be...for a purpose. So I just carried on walking and saw some more animals... it was as if they were walking along this forest path towards an unknown destination and then my dream ended.
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Mmm... [Apr. 9th, 2014|12:04 am]
lycanine
I am happy and yet I am not. How is that even possible?

Is it possible that I don't seek physical relationships any more? Is that even remotely possible?

If that is the case... then what the heck am I doing on this world? I don't need to be here.

It feels as if I am going through the motions. He is perfect. So what is the problem? I am sitting here with a tilt on my lips... and I know the answer is simple. But I am somewhat a coward to take my own life. Yet I smile, wondering if I shouldn't just perhaps reach out to the universe...reach for something this world cannot offer me.

I am getting closer and closer to that final decision.

And strange enough I am feeling happier... I am feeling lighter. Its probably why I am not taking this seriously.

I don't care if I am in a relationship or not. Relationships are irrelevant at this point.
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So last night... and... [Apr. 5th, 2014|07:23 pm]
lycanine
Some other things...

Yesterday I went to watch Noah. Was an awesome movie, Made me sad as well though, but its to be expected.

After that I went to Trillians and some bands were playing so the place had quite a few people.

This very cute guy was standing next to me at the bar and he started talking to me.

I could see he was interested, as he kept touching my arm tentatively and other things, but I was dead set on my potential date for Monday! So I didn't want to come across as being too interested. When I left, I could see he was disappointed and in part I was too. But it might be for the best. So far my mind has been captured by this guy whom I met on a dating site.

Even if it never goes anywhere, all I can think of is him.

Let's see...since we exhanged phone numbers, he has called me the following in the conversations we had: (queen of cool, twilight princess, and Guardian of the righteous) lol

Of course that just means I referred to him as a dragon master, an ambassador (after he mentioned it himself) and a dragon. LOL!

Yeah reading that, doesn't make sense, but the texts are interesting. Here let me show you...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B: Hey Sarah. This is B from ............... I just sent you a message on there. Anyway, good evening. x

S: Hey there. Sorry I didn't reply sooner but I don't religiously check my phone, and when I did it was about 4am in the morning, so I don't think a text would have gone down well at that point. x

So how has your day been? Killed any aliens in the quest for truth or uncovered any conspiracy theories related to anything....lol. I am joking. I never asked actually...what type of things do you write about?

B: Hey Sarah. Nice to hear from you. I write crime stories these days. But I've published a bunch of horror shorts, some science fiction. Haven't killed any aliens today. I'll be watching the skies though. You slaying dragons later? x

S: Only if the dragon consents to me having a chat with you now and again. I bet it will make for a terrible show if the heroine is absent or raises her sword to slay a dragon, only to hold her finger up and say: 'hold on while I reply to this sexy guy who just texted me.'

B: Yeah, they may have an issue with that. Same goes if I decide now is the time to make peace between the dark and woodland elves. Won't look too kindly on the Kingdom's ambassador having to pause in the middle of his speech to reply to the Queen of Cool. x

S: *laughs a bit* But my dear amabassador...the queen of cool definitely would give her life, soul and heart for a chance to hear her potential lover's whisper. I mean how could she resist the lure he presents. But if interrupting him means the world will come to an end or some elves might take offence... then she will wait patiently, as he means the world to her. LOL. I will stop disturbing you now since I assume you are busy. Talk soon. xxx

B: Lol! I think we are going to get along swimmingly. I'm out with my sister at the moment, but I'll text you a bit later on. By the way if you want to check out some music I like, listen to Rhapsody- Legendary Tales. It's the kinda stuff I sing. x

S:Nice, I will have to listen to it. And enjoy your outing with your sister. Don't let her drag you off to...too many shops. Make her aware of the evil dangers lurking within the places. Especially traps disguised as sales and food made to wet your appetite, but in the long run it has a sedative within those delicious temptations, so when you look again... All your money has disappeared lol. Anyway have fun.

B: I will, and I know the dangers. They lurk in every corner, under every awning. I'll text you later X

Later....

B: Hey Twilight Princess. I've got a print deadline bearing down on me so I am signing off for the night. Was cool texting today. I'll text you in the morning.

Next day.... (today)

B: Hey Guardian of the righteous. How are you today? xxx

S: I am doing great and yourself dragon master? I think at this point you may be able to tame any dragons... myself included. However just because I seek a belly scratch and purr lovingly, I would still snap quite cheekily if given the opportunity. ;) And how did your deadline go? Completed what needed to be done?

B: I like the sound of taming your dragons. Mine can sometimes be black, hulking beasts. I've got more work tonight, then I'm done for the week. xx

S: Well good luck with your work. Hope you get the desired result in the end. As for being done then... that just means I can get to talk to you tomorrow for a short while. And perhaps in the meantime I will undertake lessons in 'how to train, a big hulking black dragon.' After all... I want the dragon to see me as something more than just a tasty piece of side dish. If I can convince the dragon of all the fun that can be had, then maybe... just maybe the dragon will alow me the privelege of cuddling him. ;)

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X59 [Apr. 5th, 2014|06:08 pm]
lycanine
Two dreams I will talk about today. One I had ages ago that I never wrote down and then the other I had a few days ago.

The first dream...

I was in a field... green grass... flowers etc. A nice outdoors type of place near a farm house of some sorts. Not an old farm house...but something more modern. I decided to take a 4 wheeler thing... for fun out in the field... and somewhere along the line, I was going fast...I hit a bump or something of sorts and went flying off this four wheeler and hit my head against a rock- killing me.

Death itself wasn't instant. I drifted away, hearing the shouts of people as they called my name.

Then I re-emerged... in my world. My dimension. Among my people. It was a city. A beautiful pristine city with white walls... gleaming citadels, people peacefully walking and trading- laughing and loving.

They were happy.

I was happy. I wanted to stay there.

Forever.

Then end of my dream as I was walking on this sand that gleamed under the sun. The wind in that world was soothing... loving and touched my heart to the point where I felt tears on my cheeks.

Then I woke up.

-----------------------------

Dream 2:

I had a disturbing dream about a car crash. All I remember is some woman's name called Emilly Clarkson or Clark(s). Something like that. Her name appeared on a report. Presumably she died.

The crash happened off a mountain side road. I know this as I saw it happening. It was a winding road up a mountain area...not UK or anything. I don't think. It looked like this was America or something. Anyway, the road fell away and was damaged at some point and the car swerved and then just literally crashed as it went over the side.

--I briefly googled... but to be fair I don't think anything like that has happened yet. Maybe it already happened. It's not often I will dream about people's names so when it happens... it must mean something. I don't know an Emilly clarks or anything like that in any case. Not sure if Emily is spelt with 2 'l's or what. So just guessing.

And that is about it.
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Break Me Down [Mar. 19th, 2014|04:45 am]
lycanine
A long day alone
Emptiness is so real
Never having peace of mind
Running from what I can't see
And there is nowhere left to hide
Turn and face these empty eyes
All alone, heart untold
Trying to find

Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down

I try to find myself
I find the stranger trapped inside
And I'll take one more step away
From the face I used to recognize
Familiar shadows closing in
Suffocating fear descends
It comes alive, uncovered eyes

I'm trying to find
Break me down replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down

Replace this fear inside
Take this nothingness from me
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down

Break me down
I want to find
I want to shine
I want to rise
Break me down [repeat]

Break me!
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